im matt. im 20I work, i'm a cook and pizza delivery guy (it sucks). Im doing this tumblr in dedication of my fiance Kassie - botoxshots.tumblr.com (her tumblr)
Biggest Mistake of my life
I’m not expecting to win you back or for you to forgive me, i just want to put this out there. Last night was the biggest mistake of my life. If I could go back in time I wouldn’t even think about doing it. I should have known better that it wasn’t right of us to do it, I’m never going to smoke weed again. Last night I did everything wrong and everything went wrong, an experience I don’t want anyone to go through, and had I known that would happen to you I would absolutely never ever have been cool with us smoking. And in the craziness of it all, the last person i was thinking about was myself. I just wanted to calm you down, do what was best for you. I figured you were just saying call the cops because you were freaking out, and that would have just gotten you in trouble. Had I known anything I do now, I would have done everything differently. I know you probably won’t see this and even if you do this won’t mean anything to you, but i just want to say; I really am sincerely sorry I put you through this, I wouldn’t wish this on anybody especially not who i love most, I’m sorry.
I’m not quite sure how to prove I have changed, to have you believe me and feel secure. I sit and think and think, but come short of anything that will give you the security and safety you’d need to feel to believe me, so I just hope time and my actions and attitude will show you and in due time we can be closer and happier than ever. I love you so much Cassandra <3
I wonder if I dreamed of you-
if you would appear?
To make my nights full of love,
and always hold me near.
I wonder if I thought of you-
if you would feel it in your soul?
Like two spirits in the universe,
who always seem to know.
Even if the stars went black
and the sun were to shine no more.
They could find their way to each other,
no matter how far the shore.
Safely in each other’s arms,
to bid the rest of time.
Finding Eternal Love
so many seek to find.
Caring for each other
through the worst of storms.
Leaning on the arms of love
and never need anymore.
This is how I feel for you,
I’ve known it all along.
You are my one true love
My world.. My heart.. My soul
just hooked up my old computer, found this old picture of my beautiful Kassie =)
Another shitty start to a shitty day. I hope she calls me today, thats all i want.
my one and only true love. I miss her so much
botoxshots asked: I love it when you call me big pahhhhhpaaaaaaaaah
yes, yes i do
All the good times, all the times we were there for each other. All the things we experienced together, from the meaningful things we did together to the times we just sat around at home watching tv. When I look back I love every minute of it,
when i used to look forward i’d see it only getting better, now i just look at now and how i can lose the future and i struggle to cling on. I fight myself every minute of every day now to go on and continue racking my brain for ways to fix the damaged, instead of just giving up on life and sleeping the days away. All I want is a chance to prove myself, to save this, to keep the bright light in my future and not lose it to the past.
hurt
so I sent kassie a couple cards and little gifts at the hospital today. When i got out of work i called the hospital to talk to her, she had them ask who was calling. I said this is her fiance, then i hear her in the background say she doesn’t have a fiance…. and she then refused to talk to me. This really hurts. I just want to talk to her, see what’s going on, have a chance of making things right. It’s so awful to be rejected a single chance. I miss her.
